I am a travel agent....It's no problem for me to give you seven connecting non-smoking poolside suites with 2 king beds and 4 roll away's in each, and yes, it is my fault that the hotel does not have a helicopter pad.

I am a travel agent....I speak all languages and have visited every destination.

I am a travel agent....It's obvious to me when you book your reservation for Friday, you really mean Saturday.

I am a travel agent....My company has entrusted me with financial information, and yet I can't tell you why your hotel bill for March 1989 had a .50 per phone call because, of course, you shouldn't have to pay for calls.

I am a travel agent....I understand that Joe Blow Ltd. is a vast empire and will make or break my agency.

I am a travel agent....Yes, I am lying when I say there are no seats left at the lowest price.

I am a travel agent....No, it's not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms at the hotel you want, and this time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad!

I am a travel agent....I am capable of checking fares for three people, taking five reservations and answering fifteen calls simultaneously.

I am a travel agent... YES, you can pay the CHEAPEST rate for the resort, and I will use all my skills and contacts to get you upgraded to the Presidential Suite.

I am a travel agent....I always know where to find the best vegetarian, kosher, and Mongolian barbecue restaurants.

I am a travel agent....I know exactly what to do in all cities without spending money.

I am a travel agent....I take responsibility for, baggage fees, NO food served on planes, rental car flat tires, weather, hotel locations, and the national economy.

I am a travel agent....Of course I can fit you into the hotel at the special corporate rate because you are affiliated with the Blackburn North Lawn Bowls club.

I am a travel agent... I am never offended when I spend 10 hours researching a 12 day Europe itinerary only to hear you say you "booked it yourself over the internet and saved $30 !!!" I also NEVER gloat when you call back to say the rate was sold out or that you are stuck in the middle of nowhere since they canceled your flight and you cannot "call" your internet provider to be protected on another flight. (My Favorite One By Far!)

I am a travel agent... I love when people walk up to me at parties and out of the blue expect me to know the latest airlines fares from Melbourne to Ibiza via Byron Bay, the Maldives and Nairobi "off the top of my head".

I am a travel agent... I love that everyone assumes I get to travel everywhere for free and when I do get to take advantage of a perk people act like it is a sin against nature. If you ask me to get you the rate at my "travel agent discount" I will kill you.

I am a travel agent...Don't bother telling me any dates or cities since I am a mind reader and already have the reservation in my crystal ball before you can tell me.

I smile, empathize, sympathize, console, cajole, up-sell, down-sell, cross-sell, perform, sing, dance, make coffee and fix the printer.................. I am your travel agent!!